Feeling detached is one of the most unique and painful parts of experiencing depression. The exact definition is slippery because it’s a  deeply interior personal sense. It’s the painful feeling of being completely detached from people and things.

Depressed people occupy a place, but are not always a part of things. They talk to people, but they don’t feel part of other people’s lives. They feel always lacking. Never completely whole. Hollow.

These feelings are very powerful, and in many cases deeply unconscious and embedded in the psyche, resulting in people isolating and sabotaging their happiness. The intensity of these feelings is commensurate to the severity of the depression.

Why do depressed people feel so detached from others?

On one level there is a continuous loop of comparison going on a subtle level. We argue it comes from three things, past trauma and hurts, and the subsequent egocentric and ruminations (thinking), coupled with feelings of inferiority and low self esteem (feelings and behaviours).

Our model:

Painful past filled with loss – distorted thinking – painful and unhealthy feeling and living

Psychological memories and trauma

Childhood and upbringing play a crucial part in the development and persistence of depression. In a simple way, feelings of aloneness and separation of form when young, especially the child who felt that his or her parents were not be able to protect them.

Nervous dispositions come out of feeling unprotected. These deep seated feelings of aloneness and separation are planted and often grow and wreak havoc later in life especially in situations when apparent security and safety becomes less apparent – like job loss, relationship separation or financial insecurity.

What can also get lost in this is the ability to see life from a providential perspective, valuing others as co-equal human beings entitled to the same respect, dignity and worth as you. Harmful world-views oriented toward survival and domination produce rotten fruit like broken relationships, mistrust and abuse.

The Ruminating Mind

Depressed people chew things over way too much. They go over similar thoughts again in again in almost an automotive and aggressive fashion. Often about past injuries and people; if that’s not the case it’s worrying about new situations and potential threat.

The worry of the future again comes from the fear of not being adequately supported. This is a by-product of the aforementioned trauma and is an outworking of a mind continuously opposed to acceptance of the present moment. Excessive thought leads to the paralysis of analysis and elevating yourself into the citadel-of-self, judging others and putting people down in order to feel better about yourself.

Deep Feelings of inferiority, worthlessness and low self esteem

Feelings of inferiority are universal and not necessarily unique to depressed people, although it’s very common for all depressed people to feel low about themselves. Depressed people tend to feel naturally detached. If feelings are deeply blocked it is common to feel cut off from people and the richness of life. In this state other people can seem so rich, whole and complete while you are left behind.

How to beat feeling so detached?

Realise that feelings are not just feelings. There is a cause to why people feel this way. It’s not good enough to ignore them either. They must be confronted.

One helpful way to confront them is to document them, by noting and tracking your mood. See if there are any connections between times of day and certain moods. People who do this are able to see that good and bad feelings come and go. Feelings are not necessarily permanent but more of a sensation like the weather.

Also, and this must be stressed, perform activities to stop the illusions of mental barriers between you and other people. These include learning to listen, helping others and sharing your life. This also may be doing some voluntary work if you are unemployed, participating in some cause that helps clean the earth. There are so many opportunities to take hold of. Be creative and make that first step. Learn to do things that will help you forget about yourself and your thoughts.

Realise that no matter how bad you feel about yourself, how bad your situation is, whatever may have happened to you, that these things can and do happen to human beings and that you are unique, loved and valued in spite of all your angry feelings against yourself.

I believe this is a fundamental truth, it’s just that depression perverts it so profoundly. Believing this in your heart is a leap of faith for people. Make the leap.

The solution is often found with other people, especially when you’re so drawn into yourself. So learn of others, let them into your life, humble your preconceptions for just a moment and learn to live and accept life on its terms.

We want to to live a live that is not detached. We want you enriched by the community and diversity of life.

People can and do beat depression but it is a long term commitment. Thanks for reading remember to leave comments below (Facebook or WordPress) and follow How I Beat Depression on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

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When it comes to diagnosing major depressive disorder (MDD) there is enormous influence from the social environment. This is my second assessment I did on a course from Coursera* which is about the social context of mental health.

Depression, according to the World Health Organization (WHO), will be the secondary cause of global health burden by 2020. Depression is an umbrella label and there are many types of depression, so the focus is on the most common type Major Depressive Disorder (MDD).

Personally, I have suffered multiple episodes of major depression throughout my adult life. I have strongly recovered and am passionate about destigmatising depression to a wide audience, an example of which is this website.

Professionally, I have worked with significant amounts of depressed people, many from marginalised communities such as migrant and the unemployed. I understand the link between social systems and forces playing a paramount role in the formation and diagnosis of the condition.

A diagnosis of MDD is often made by a mental health professional, a general practictioner or psychiatrist, and often by employing the Diagnosistic Statistical Manual (DSM-IV-TR) as a guide (DSM IV). A diagnosis of MDD is not an isolated event because those professionals gain access to patients with permission and agreement from wider systems like families, communities and schools. The experience of depression itself often has a history and gives a person a chance to identify social experiences and internal mood within a pathological framework.

The diagnosis of MDD in the DSM-IV is also reliant on the impairment of functioning from the individual in professional, educational and social domains. People who are not able to cope or function within these systems are likely to present for treatment and diagnosis. Their ability to function within these domains determine the severity of the MDD. Therefore social contexts drive a MDD diagnosis.

Social determinants also play a critical role in the diagnosis of MDD. It is not bad luck that people develop MDD. The experience of depression and persistent lower mood also comes from the effects of other people who put them in those circumstances, as well as biological predispositions and causes. Specific groups within society are more prone to receiving a diagnosis of depression. It is well documented that women run a greater risk in most cultures: overall, women have a 1.5- to 2-times higher risk of suffering from depression compared with men.

It is also well documented that migrant communities also have a greater chance of being diagnosed with MDD. The process of migration leading to depression is indicative of social contexts playing a key role in the diagnosis of depression, because migrant communities are often taken away from key social protections and determinants such as a stable family, communities and fair access to employment. Furthermore, they often transition from sociocentric to egocentric communities and struggle to adapt to radically new cultural and social contexts .

Cultural influence also impacts on the MDD diagnosis. Traditionally, non-Western cultures have reported lower incidences of depression and some cultures struggle to define the word depression in their language, in spite of the World Health Organisation showing that lowered mood occurs and MDD as an experience occurring consistently across cultures. These cultures also have much less mainstream treatments available to them for diagnosis.

The DSM-IV in its multi axial diagnostic method acknowledges the social context when it comes to diagnosis, the third and fourth axis aim to identify any other health conditions impacting on MDD diagnosis and also the psychological, social and environmental stressors influencing MDD. This enables the clinician to form a biopsychosocial perspective when diagnosing and developing a treatment plan. However, it is noted that western culture and diagnosis still places a lot of attention on individual problems and recovery paths and not social ills or systems, this may explain the increase in number of worldwide mood disorders in spite of more robust treatment options.

*Coursera allows people from all over the world to do free online university courses. The quality of this course was exceptional. 

People can and do beat depression but it is a long term commitment. Thanks for reading remember to leave comments below (Facebook or WordPress) and follow How I Beat Depression on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

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Depression is clinically categorised as a “mood disorder”. The problem with most types of depression is chronic and persistent low mood, or with bipolar it sometimes combines feeling too low with feeling too high and elated. Feeling utterly flat, useless with no defined feelings is part of depression. When trying to describe it people use the terms like ‘emptiness’, ‘hollowness’ and ‘zombie like’, with persistent low moods causing people to feel sad and alone.

Often what accompanies these moods is anhedonia, which is a fancy word for saying losing pleasure in things that once gave pleasure. This is part of the vortex that can envelop a person going through depression

It’s also important to acknowledge that non-depressed people also battle low moods. It’s common for an individual mood to cycle in the space of an hour, day or month. Feeling wretched and low when waking up to go to a job you may not like is universal, as is doing repetitive tasks like cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry.

Needless to say, depressed people need to intentionally do things to boost their mood. For people with depression, especially if chronic or suffered in multiple episodes, moods have strong gravitational pulls toward lethargy, tiredness and feeling flat. This needs to be challenged on a daily basis.

Let’s look at some ways to boost mood:

1. Exercise

Exercise is one of the most important tools when trying to beat depression. Don’t delay getting involved in exercise, no matter how small it is to start off with. Doing exercise provides mood boosting chemicals like serotonin, dopamine and  endorphins. Get exercising and do it regularly. Consistency is better than intensity.

2. Find activities that you enjoy

Find things that let you get lost in them. I know it’s hard when depressed. Often depressed people find new life when they join a group sports or a team oriented activity. Depression is about overcoming strong impulses to isolate from people, these impulses can sometimes be very insidious and almost unconscious. Socialise and let yourself have fun. Obviously we don’t recommend just going out drinking or engaging in self-destructive behaviour.

3. Watch funny movies or TV shows

Don’t underestimate humour. Depression can be too serious and formal sometimes. Comedy has the power to cut through the thick layers of resistance and pain. Let it change and transform you, and yes, let yourself laugh freely and loudly.

4. Keep a journal of your mood

We highly encourage you to track your mood regularly. It’s good for two main reasons. You begin to see patterns and realise when you feel good and when you don’t. It can also tell you if you are getting better or worse. It gives greater control of cycles, and reminds people that they don’t always feel down or sad. Journalling thoughts as well as mood is useful to form connections.

5. Learning to let others make you feel happy

Sometimes there’s nothing you can do to feel better and lift your mood. That’s OK. We all have our own limits and frustration points. It’s often about letting others in, learning to relax around them and not wanting to control them and their behavior.

Most people own smartphones these days and know what apps are and how to use them. These are appropriate and free apps:

Optimism Apps – free app to track mood and also be used in conjunction with a clinician
Free Bodyfitness App - free exercises on your phone. Always use caution when doing weights. It’s best to get professional assistance when formulating a program.

People can and do beat depression but it is a long-term commitment. Thanks for reading remember to leave comments below (Facebook or WordPress) and follow How I Beat Depression on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

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I understand you have battled depression and beaten it too. Can you please talk a little more about your depression?

In hindsight I think I was depressed from childhood but it was when I was on my knees, literally, after a workaholic burn out aged 30.

What type of depression was it?

I’d been depressed all my life so it was a matter of time before it caught up with me.

I came from a very difficult family and had learnt all sorts of ways to get through it as a child but, of course, those survival tactics don’t work as an adult. For example spent a lot of my 20s in a very high pressure sales job because I thought that if I was successful enough and earned enough money, I would finally be happy. I remember walking to the bank to deposit a large sum of cash and realizing that I could buy whatever I wanted in the street I was on and I didn’t need to actually put the money in the bank. I hit ‘rock bottom’ because I thought ‘well if that doesn’t make me happy, nothing will’.

I moved out of the city and had a type of breakdown where I was unable to function for about two years. I had nothing left inside me. I cried everyday, watched daytime TV and hardly left my flat. I think it was the most lonely time of my life, even more lonely than my childhood.

Can you speak about the various interventions you used to treat the depression?

I went to the doctor who diagnosed severe depression and offered me an anti-depressant. The thing is, I knew that wasn’t the right thing for me and I was very clear about the root cause of the depression – very, very low self-esteem. The overriding symptom for me was deep hopelessness and I had a sense that connecting with others who would know how I felt was what I needed.

So I started to attend some 12 Step meetings and got myself some counselling. It was a much longer road for recovery but it’s what beat the depression for good. Also, having that support system helped me to become confident that I could beat it for good.

What really helped you beat depression?

At the end of the day I think it was recognising that I was beating myself up all the time and finding ways to change that. I realised that I was doing to myself what I’d had done to me as a kid. It was a light bulb moment. For the first time in my life I had the power to change it. I started treating myself with respect and that’s what really helped me beat depression. Of course it’s easily said but a lot harder to put into practice.

Are there any inspirational figures you looked to when trying to beat depression?

So, so many. In terms of authors I particularly love John Bradshaw, Charles L Whitfield, John Powell and Susan Jeffers. I think Robert Holden has got a great approach. I think Melody Beattie is fantastic. But the people who have inspired me the most are those people who turn up at 12 step meetings, week in week out, determined to find the answer to their problems no matter how difficult the road becomes. Those are the people who I turned to in my hard times and they were always there. I can’t thank them enough and that’s why I do service for 12 step meetings today.

Why do you think depression is such a widespread problem?

It’s truly staggering isn’t it? Is it that depression is better diagnosed today? Or is it our modern life? I have pondered how to answer this question for 30 minutes but I can’t come up with a definitive answer. I know the experts at the World Health Organisation are also baffled.

We found you because some of our readers have downloaded your E-book Beat Depression and Reclaim Your Life. Can you talk about how the information in this book would help people who struggle with depression?

I am truly humbled when I find out anyone has read my book. It’s a book about beating depression through practical but realistic steps. The steps are written from the perspective of someone (me!) who has deeply suffered but has recovered. I know what it feels like to be drowning and what life rafts worked for me.

How to do you practice maintenance so your depression will not significantly impact your life again?

I am very vigilant about how I treat myself. I know if I start beating myself up again I am going down that slippery slope so I make it a priority not to!

Also I eat well because I understand the binge-depression cycle and I make sure I don’t get on that one. I exercise three times a week. Also I meditate every day. And, finally, I share how I am feeling on a regular basis. It’s the work I need to do to feel good. Anyone who’s suffered from depression and has recovered has to be mindful about taking good care of themselves.

What would you say to our readers who feel really hopeless and feel that nothing will ever change for the better

My suggestion is this: take it a day at a time, an hour at a time, a minute at a time. If you can accept the depression, instead of fighting it, it will heal you faster. Depression is like wet sand, the more you push, the harder it gets. By accepting the depression you will find a sense of relief. You don’t have to sort out anything else except accepting the depression. Powerlessness is the very first step towards recovery. If you feel the hopelessness right now, just accept it and feel the struggle leave you. Keep doing this and the rest will follow.

Thank you Alexandra! Her e-book can be found at

Beat Depression and Reclaim Your Life

Her biography and further background information is available at:

Limelight Management

People can and do beat depression but it is a long-term commitment. Thanks for reading remember to leave comments below (Facebook or WordPress) and follow How I Beat Depression on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

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When we canvas our How I Beat Depression Facebook audience about what books help them the most with depression, the Bible comes up consistently.

The wisdom of the Bible thoroughly pre-dates modern psychological concepts of treating and beating depression. The Bible’s age is often cited by sceptics who struggle to believe that something so old could still retain relevance. Mainstream mental health treatment, when drawing from religious and spiritual concepts, also tends to delve into the Eastern practices like meditation, yoga and mindfulness, rather than the Bible

But the simple truth is that many people have changed their lives as a result of the Bible. When it comes to beating depression many people from all nations turn to it again and again for inspiration, hope and support.

Here are five main points about how the Bible helps people beat depression:

1. People in the Bible go through depression, heartache and trials

Aren’t Christians happy-clappy naive do-gooders?  Well, that’s not what the Bible says at all. A clear example of this is King David, an influential king in Israel who presided over a flourishing Jerusalem. He is noted as a man after God’s heart, a shepherd who rose to great heights against all odds. He suffered many bouts of anguish, night terrors and confusion as he was on the run from his enemies and struggled to reconcile God’s purposes for him with his current predicament and internal reactions.

One of David’s  strengths was turning again and again to God and pouring his concern and hear out:

I am troubled, I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long. …I groan because of the turmoil of my heart. (Psalm 38:6,8 - NKJV).

Christian Answers points out that David, after committing adultery, sank into a depression:

When I kept silent, my bones grew old Through my groaning all the day long. For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was turned into the drought of summer. (Psalm 32:3-4)

Turning to the New Testament, the people who follow Jesus Christ as Lord come under trials of faith and frequent persecution. Look at this passage written by Paul, one of the key New Testament Apostles. It encapsulates a lot of his teaching and emphasis on the growth of the inner man as the outer man decays and is subject to physical death:

We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed… Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:8-9, 16-18—NIV).

2. The Bible encourages people to turn anxiety and concern to God

The Bible is very aware of the human condition, covering such topics as doubt, insecurity, loneliness, fears about money, personal and family protection. When magnified these concerns cause anxiety, depression and mental pain. Going back to David, we see him turning this depression and downcast state to God:

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. (Psalms 42:11)

Jesus’ central teaching passage, the Sermon on the Mount, discusses anxiety as one of the main points:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

Anxiety minimisation surfaces frequently in the Bible and suggests to turn to God for comfort and support. The Bible depicts a God who is control of the universe and at the same time cares about people in a deep and personal way.

3. The Bible helps people forgive themselves and their past

People who struggle with depression often struggle with the past. Failed relationships, careers, decisions can wreak havoc on one’s state of mind and keep people away from the present moment by dwelling on the past and fretting about the future. Some new age books like the popular Power of Now focuses on this tendency to avoid the present moment by mental resistance away from the now.

The central message of the Bible is that Jesus has the power to forgive personal sin by his death and the resurrection. He accepts people were they are at, sometimes filled with doubt, bitterness and regret and offers a second chance at life. No one in the Bible is a no-hoper and one of its keys to helping people beat depression is putting forth grace. Rich, poor, strong, weak, man, woman, it doesn’t matter. God’s unconditional love and forgiveness are for all those who believe in Jesus.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

4. The Bible puts joy in front of happiness

In the Bible, joy is an expression as well as a spiritual weapon. It acknowledges that we will not always be happy, pleased or get what we want. The Bible encourage people to sing and rejoice in all circumstances.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:4-6—NKJV)

Depression can drive people into hopelessness, but joy in the Lord is strength. The Bible views joy as something that comes out of knowing a future is stable in Jesus Christ and the hope and promises contained in Him.

5. In the midst of painful situations the Bible offers hope and understanding

People come to faith and to God often in the midst of pain, confusion and hurt. The Bible often powerfully changes people who have nothing left to give. In difficult times, people are receptive to the message that God has given all in Jesus Christ who can take burdens, anxieties, worries and cares. Not only that, he deeply understands these afflictions and conditions too bearing a lot of shame, loneliness and unfair attack on the cross.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)

We hope this has helped explain why the Bible helps so many people beat depression on a daily basis.

People can and do beat depression but it is a long term commitment. Thanks for reading remember to leave comments below (Facebook or WordPress) and follow How I Beat Depression on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

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References and further reading

Christian Answers
What Christians Know
Christian Broadcasting Network 

You’ve tried it all: various types of medications, counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists.  You may have also spent a lot of money on relaxation methods like massages, chiropractors and physiotherapists.  All of whom promised to improve your depression but provided short term and forgettable results.

You might have bought books and CDs in an effort to get educated, participated in forums, joined a support group or visited a local mental health care centre, hoping one would contain that vital piece of information to achieve a breakthrough. Perhaps you also invested in gym and physical conditioning programs. If you are religious, you’ve prayed. Yet despite all your hard work you are not beating depression, it’s beating you.

Despite your best plans and intentions, nothing is happening. Worse still, the thought occurs that after so long you have made little to no progress at all. You begin to feel depression will always have the upper hand in your life.

It seems that in spite of your good character, your ‘niceness’ and good work, you are consigned to a life of shallow relationships, resentment and depression. That barking black dog isn’t going away .

That’s incredibly infuriating, isn’t it?

Nevertheless, along the way you have made some progress. You have had moments of great joy and formed a belief that it could be all coming to an end. But then something happens, sometimes unforeseeable, that puts you back to square one.

Why on earth is this happening? And why on earth is this happening to you?

After all, you are a good and decent person right? You had the best intentions of how your were going to build a life and help people. People who seem much meaner than you seem to be thriving in life. Their conduct and character may be so much more selfish than yours, but they seem to enjoy life a lot more and don’t seem to have problems and setbacks  like you. How annoying!

You begin to ask questions: So when the hell is my depression going to get better? When will I able resume a life without fear of relapse without constant vigilance?  Without needing to always monitor my thoughts, emotions and mood? When can I go to bed without thinking of so many things? When are past memories going to stop infecting my dreams, draining my resources and consuming my life with burden and worry? When will the silver lining materialise and shine some hope into my circumstances and life?

Does this sound familiar? Have you ever thought that you just can’t beat depression?

Know that you are not alone. I repeat: you are not alone. Depression is often a long struggle. It is punctuated with feelings of frustration at how long things take to get better. It is actually quite common for people beating depression to go through these types of thoughts.  Multiple relapses are the norm, not the exception. Actual recovery time is a lot longer than ideal notions and personal desires.

Let’s look at why depression can take so long

1. Overdoing recovery

In all the online information about beating depression, one key point is always missed: depressed people often do try and beat depression, but how they approach recovery is the problem.

It comes from personality characteristics that predispose people to depression: all-or-nothing or black and white thinking, perfectionist types, controlling and overly conscientious people.  Their attempts at beating depression can come undone because sometimes people try too hard. They become emotionally and physically exhausted in the process.

In many cases, beating depression is about making a brave and concious decision to simplify your existence. Cutting out or down on activities, such as Facebook or excessive internet usage. These activities may feel enjoyable at the time but aren’t really necessary and often rob people of precious time to relax the mind and body. Instead, do intentional calming activities such as meditation, yoga, prayer and journalling, which can really get your mind into a more holistic state.

2. Unconscious hurts don’t go away unless released

Unconscious hurts and feelings often lay dormant, yet still can exert power over someone’s life. The unconscious is not bound by time, so injuries and hurts suffered at the age of four can still be actively influencing a 70 year old, unless those old pains and hurts get felt and released.  See How Freud Beats Depression to explore this further.

3. A quality recovery takes time

It takes time to really get on the solid path of recovery. Don’t think of recovery as smooth or easily progressive, it’s not like an exercise regime that gives clear results based on work you put in. When it comes to troubled emotions, general recovery is a lot more complex, convoluted and messy than people would like to think.

4 .Triggers and unexpected situations happen

Unfortunately you cannot protect yourself from the stress and fear than life  throws at you.  A lot of situations may not turn out the way you expect them do. Financial, family and employment crises can heighten tension and produce depressive reactions. The key to staying strong is cultivating resilience with your recovery and expecting setbacks and adversity along the way. This is part of training the mind to reflect and engage with reality in a more genuine way.

5. When you beat depression you don’t feel great everyday

No one is happy all the time. Nor should your strive to be either. Strive to be genuine, authentic and real. Much of life is  unfair and striving for perpetual happiness doesn’t actually make much sense. That being said, people still can be joyful in  good and bad situations. These are often the people who have attained a greater sense of maturity and wisdom through difficult circumstances.

Beating depression can sometimes be a slow and painful thing. If you are really frustrated and are thinking of giving up – DON’T.

People can and do beat depression but it is a long term commitment. Thanks for reading remember to leave comments below (Facebook or WordPress) and follow How I Beat Depression on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

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Why can’t I get out of bed in the morning?

• Depressed people do not sleep well. They often have nightmares reflecting subconscious or conscious fears. REM deep sleep is not common depressed people often wake up feeling awful. Frequent complaints include waking up with headaches, jaw pain, not feeling refreshed and energised.
• Depressed people often have poor sleep hygiene. This vastly contributes to the previous point. Read our post about sleep hygiene here. Finding it hard to switch off is a function of having an over-active mind in an under active body. When most people are naturally tired from the day’s activity, a depressed mind seems alive with ideas, projects and interests.
• People often believe that they will not be able to cope with the needs and demands of the day. They don’t want to face people and feel continual dejection and pain
• Depressed people find it really hard to get motivated and get going. Being in a mental fog significantly impairs decision making and planning. Planning a day and doing simple things in a straightforward manner is more difficult and requires time and effort to think.
• Depressed people simply don’t want to get up as they believe there is nothing to get up for. Nothing is motivating them to move.

How to improve this area of your life

• Work on sleep hygiene and normalise your circadian rhythms. This takes some time and persistence but it definitely pays off. Sleep disturbance is a big problem in mental health.
• Exercise, exercise and exercise.  If possible exercise in the morning. It will increase your energy for the day and also get you ready to be tired at night.
• Realise that people who get things done are early risers. There’s less of the day to worry. Getting stuck into activities when it is still quiet is an excellent way to establish a good pace during the day.
• Try and get into an activity straight away to avoid thinking to much. You really want to be out of bed as soon as possible. More time to think and ponder is dangerous and often leads to nothing. Part of good sleep hygiene is avoiding spending too much time in bed.
• Get into positive devotional reading. Read positive quotes and motivational stories. If you are Christian use daily readings, if you are in a 12 step program like AA or NA  find their daily reading books and read these when you get up. It doesn’t have to be long but start the day with some positive encouragement and wisdom.
• Do something nice for your partner or spouse. If you live with a partner or spouse, go out of your way to show them love. Take the focus off yourself. Doing these  things is called decentralising and they help with recovery immensely.
• Use CBT. The one sentence I love is, “I can compel my muscles and limbs to move in spite of my feelings”. Listen to our podcast about How CBT Beats depression for more information about this.

We hope this list helps. We know it’s not easy and there will be days in which nothing seems able to help you haul yourself out of bed. On some days, like weekends, allow yourself to sleep in and reward yourself from time to time. Getting support and ensuring you have friends and families you can call in will also help you immeasurably too.

Don’t give up. We believe in you and want you to beat depression!

Thanks for reading, remember all content is copyright and covered by an Important Disclaimer. Please leave a comment if you’ve read this story for affirmation, feedback and discussion and follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

Or, if you would like to submit a story which can change and influence other lives please send it via e-mail to howibeat@gmail.com We really hope you do beat your depression.

The data comes from a large study done by the National Institute of Health. People who drank four sodas a day had a 30% higher chance of developing depression than those who did not drink sweetened drinks. Also those who drank four drinks of fruit punch were 38% more likely to develop depression.

The survey population covered 263,925 Americans between the ages of 50 and 71. In 1995 researchers looked at a variety of different drinks consumed by this population. A decade later they checked this population and screened for those with depression, which was 11,311. Somewhat surprisingly four cups of coffee  a day actually decreased likelihood of developing depression by 10%.

Our take on these findings

This is not an incredibly insightful discovery, as it belongs in the common sense basket. The study doesn’t prove that drinking diet drinks directly causes depression. It can also be implied that such high volumes of sugary and poor quality drinks would indicate a lack of self care that could be an outworking of an already depressed mind.

The age factor is significant. 50-71 represents only a narrow demographic segment of the population. It would have been nice to see a wider scale and even differences amongst different demographics analysed.

The article on the Smithsonian asks the good question of causality or correlation

Do the ingredients in both diet sodas and normally-sweetened drinks trigger changes in the brain chemistry that lead to depression? Or are people with the tendency to become depressed simply more likely to drink these beverages in the first place?*

The bottom line is that diet soda isn’t necessarily a trigger, this study just shows regular and high intake of diet sodas and depression are linked. It could also point to other parts of diet too; one could assume that four diet soda drinks a day would accompany a poor diet, encompassing  large quantities of  fast and processed foods.

However if you have a strong anxiety disorder along with depression, it might be best to avoid caffeine altogether. For a more healthy lifestyle cut down on soda drinks and substitute them with water.

References and further reading

Diets in Review

The Smithsonian 

Frank Bruno

Name: Frank Bruno
D.O.B: 16/11/1961
Birthplace: Hammersmith, England
Occupation: Retired boxer 
Condition: Bipolar
Similar Stories: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Jason Robinson
How He Beats depression: Family support, psychiatric institution, exercise, destigmatisation, running

How Frank Bruno Beat Depression

© David Fowler | Dreamstime.com

Frank Bruno is a heavily respected and loved  English boxer. He is a world champion who retired with a record of 40 wins and five losses. Bruno became WBC Champion in 1995 after defeating Oliver McCall. He is also well known for bouts against Mike Tyson, losing both those bouts.

Frank Bruno retired in 1996 and began to spend his cash quite erratically, a classic symptom of bipolar. His life became more difficult after his marriage dissolved with Laura in 2001 and his trainer committed suicide. In 2003 Frank was sectioned under the mental health act in England. Being “sectioned” means being forcibly taken into psychiatric care. It was in this admission that a diagnosis of bipolar was made.

Bruno attributes pride and not wanting to acknowledge fault as preventative reasons for him not seeking help earlier. It was there he began to understand the nature of his bipolar condition and his tendencies to experience odd behaviour and mania. Bruno latter attributed cocaine use to further problems with mental health.

Early in 2012 Bruno checked himself again into the facility as he was suffering the effects of emotional exhaustion.  The fact he did this voluntarily demonstrates further insight and a recognition of the condition on his part. In a show with Piers Morgan, Frank Bruno revealed how his condition has resulted in him being sectioned multiple times and spoke of a knife attack within a secure hospital.

Bruno has battled a lots of ups and downs with his condition. It hasn’t been all rosy or pretty, but that’s what a lot of recoveries are like. It’s very rare for anyone to have a squeaky clean ladder to pure mental health, often there are relapses. Please read our section on overcoming depression to understand why this is so. Frank Bruno is raw and honest when recounting his experience:

It is embarrassing for many people to deal with. But admitting you are ill and getting help is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not shameful to have a nervous breakdown like it was in the old days. It’s nice just to let it out instead of keeping it in – because the more you keep it in, the worse it can be when it does come out. *

Bruno’s supportive daughter acknowledges the impact of mental health on fellow family members. She says:

Mental illness doesn’t just affect the person suffering. It has an impact on the person’s family.*

 

The curse of retired sports stars

It’s not uncommon for sportsmen and women to fall off the rails after retirement. When public spotlight and adoration is quickly withdrawn it can expose emptiness, disillusionment with life and feeling unwanted and lost. There are many high profile cases that spotlight the trials and tribulations ex sports stars can face.

Collision and high impact sports are also notorious for causing head injuries leading to conditions such as dementia. Often these sportsmen grow up in cultures where showing weakness and vulnerability was a big no-no, so when times get tough, the tendency can be to grit your teeth and try and push through the pain. This approach when dealing with a serious condition like bipolar just doesn’t work. It’s not about self-will.

Frank regularly checks in with himself and knows that it’s a daily battle, sometimes forward, sometimes backwards. He says:

I’m checking myself because with bipolar you can be up and down, happy one day and crying the next. But thank God I monitor myself and watch my steps. You can take two steps forward but then you need to watch and be aware that you can take a step back. *

We affirm and commend Frank Bruno for being open as he builds a life after severe depression. For Bruno, beating his bipolar is an ongoing battle. He is now playing an active part in destigmatising mental health and is a tremendous light to the community. Frank’s fighting heart continues to beat and inspire.

References and further reading

The Guardian
The Mirror
The Mirror 2
Daily Mail

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZQVCN63ZT8

Sigmund Freud has exerted a powerful influence on the modern treatment of mental health. An original thinker and analyser of human behaviour, his legacy is deeply embedded both in the clinical practice and management of mental health. His legacy is present in everyday life with ‘Freudian slips’ and searching for deeper meaning in dreams.

Freud mapped a new way of understanding how the mind operates by providing a structural model of the human personality. In his model the mind is not something that gets switched on and off. Rather there are three systems regulating its continuous operation.

These three systems: the ego, superego and id are always in flux. Fundamentally how we all act is a reflection of these three systems fighting for supremacy:

Id: The Id is full of impulsive, primal drives, like pleasure, sex and death. It wants immediate gratification. Not surprisingly this is the first system to be developed and is easily observable in babies.

Superego: The superego is the moral governor. It says “I should do this and that”. It strives for perfection and regulates moral codes. The voice is empowered from both parents, authority figures and society pressures to who restrain aberrant and regulate normal behaviour.

The ego: The ego acts as a mediator between the realities of the world and the ID. It executes plans and coordinated activities. 

How Sigmund Freud Beats Depression

We are looking at three key areas:

1.     Exaggerated feelings of guilt
2.     Buried and hurt feelings of anger and rage from childhood trauma
3.     Conflict between the superego and the ID

1. Exaggerated feelings of guit

Sigmund Freud was one of the first people to recognise the powerful role of guilt in people who have depression. He likened depression, or melancholia as it was called during his lifetime, as a more powerful form of grieving. Depression is distinguishable from grief by an exaggerated feeling of guilt and self-blame. Depression and grief both involve sadness, loss of appetite, disturbed sleep and withdrawal from social life.

In Freud’s perspective this guilt is in part driven by a sense of loss in childhood, particularly in the case of absent, distant or divorced parents. In addition to repressing these painful experiences the person feels guilty for somehow causing this separation and attributes some inherent flaw in themselves. This is understandable as a child cannot rationalize situations like an adult.

This strong sense of  guilt includes constantly feeling like a burden, feeling constantly self conscious and inferior to others . This guilt is often driven by unconscious feelings buried in childhood.

The good news is that these unconscious feelings can be released and made conscious. This is the purpose of psychotherapy. The person is able to experience catharsis and release these latent and operative feelings of guilt and pain that lie in the unconscious and stop their influence on behaviour. This is great news and true liberation for people under an unconscious spell.

Takeaway point: Making the unconscious conscious is crucial to recovery as in many cases the hurt, pain, anger and sadness is stored in the unconscious.

2. Depression as anger turned inward

The simplistic definition of depression as ‘anger turned inward’ is also based in Freud’s theories. The anger arises from childhood traumatic experiences and remains buried in the unconscious via repressive defence mechanisms. As we have discussed in our article on anger, depressed people harbour significant anger in the unconscious which in time can result in rage and crippling depression. The ego gets overwhelmed by this unconscious burden.

This anger is not the same as conscious anger. What is this anger about: perceived rejection and abandonment by others. The result of this often involves devaluing others and harboring revenge fantasies. This impulse understood within a Freudian framework is not ‘evil’ but an expression of a defence mechanism as a way to minimize further hurt. Unconscious anger leaks out in the form of passive anger at others and masochistic anger against the self via a hypercritical punishing superego voice.

Takeaway point: Anger plays a critical role in depression both in driving rage against the self and others and. The good news is that buried anger can be let out and released when the unconscious is made conscious. 

3.The divided mind – the war between the superego and the ID

While Freud in his lifetime concentrated as depression as a form of grief, his understanding of intra-psychic tension is helpful when it comes to understanding and beating depression. Where a healthy ego is nor present to balance the moral demands of the superego and the gratifying impulses of the ID a person’s thought life is turned into maelstrom and healthy functioning becomes impeded.

One of the radical ways he did this was to postulate causes for abnormal behavior to be understood in terms of causation in the unconscious. Unconscious forces are guiding behaviour and creating a divided mind.

There are certain personality types that are more prone to psychic conflict: 

• Overly conscientious
• People-pleasers
• Obsessive and competitive types
• Prone to excessive worry
• Unable to let go, relax and have fun as always thinking
• Over-intellectual.
• Prone to muscle tension and tension issues in the body: TMJ, migraines, gastrointestinal disturbances

Essentially what occurs is that the ego is unable to maintain balance between superego’s and ID’s demands and subsequently is unable to cope. That is when symptoms start occurring. At first they can be manageable but as time goes on problematic symptoms like sleep interruption, attentive disturbance, intrusive thoughts, excessive worrying and suicidal ideation can very much disturb peoples lives.

At How I Beat Depression we also maintain that a range of chronic pain conditions such as fibromyalgia, tension headaches, a range of gastrointestinal disturbances are a function of this divided mind and anger and hurt in the unconscious.

Takeaway point: A depressed person has a divided mind, however these three parts can be harmonized and healed  when the unconscious hurts are made conscious, resulting in transformational healing and wholeness.

We hope this information has helped you understand how Freud’s concepts can help beat depression. Please watch our YouTube video and remember that for many people making the unconscious conscious is best done in the context of a therapeutic relationship.

Thanks for reading this article, all information is covered by an important disclaimer. Please leave a comment for affirmation, feedback and discussion and follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

Or, if you would like to submit a story which can change and influence other lives please send it via e-mail to howibeat@gmail.com.

References and further reading

Simple Psychology
Interenet Encyclopedia of Philosophy
Daily Mail on Freud, Depression and Guilt 
ENotes on Depression from a psychoanalytic perspective
Advances in Psychiatric Treatment on Depression, anger and depression from a psychoanalytic perspective 

According to new research by a team at McMaster University, the FTO gene which predisposes people to obesity actually serves as a mild protection agent against major depression.

The researchers corroborated their findings with three other large international studies. It found that the presence of FTO led to an 8% reduction in the risk of depression. 17,200 DNA samples from 21 different countries were examined. The teams at McMaster propose that these new findings could re-conceptualise the nexus between depression and anxiety. Their findings are published in the Journal of Molecular Psychiatry.

It was previously believed that depression and obesity were deeply interlinked, as they share a range of similar symptoms such as lack of exercise, poor diet and low self-esteem. This study wanted to focus on genetics and brain activity and see the potential link between both on a genetic level.

The Atlantic points out that one problem of thinking about depression and obesity is the automatic assumption that being fat is depressing. The fixation on specific body form in the west assumes that being abnormally overweight means being unhappy and dissatisfied. Although there also exists the opposing cliché of the “jolly fat man”.

Their results shed new light on genes being correlated to depression. In a nutshell these new findings have potentially unearthed, to put it a little crudely, “a fat but happy gene”*.

References and further reading

Science Daily
CBS
The Atlantic
Web MD on how the FTO gene works

Martin

Country: United Kingdom, now residing in Australia
Depression type: Major depression
What contributed to depression: Geographical relocation, family stress, job dissatisfaction
What beat depression: Psychoeducation, Mindfulness, CBT, Psychotherapy
Website: Too Depressed

Today we interview Martin from Australia. Martin has beat depression and runs an excellent website called Too Depressed, devoted to helping people with depression by giving strategies and tips for effective coping and growth.

Martin please tell us a little bit about yourself.

I grew up in the suburbs south of London, in the UK. I had a pretty good academic education at school, although in the 1970s boys grammar schools were hardly nurturing environments.

I did a lot of sport, had a lovely supportive family and a normal happy life. Then, 5 days after my 13th birthday my father died suddenly and everything changed. Pretty much from that day on my outlook on life became very negative and I struggled for a long time to know what to do with my life.

I drifted through my twenties doing a succession of jobs until, at the age of 29 I decided to become a lawyer. I qualified 4 years later and have worked in the law and related fields ever since, although with increasing levels of dissatisfaction.

Can you tell us about when you first realised you had depression?

This is quite a hard one to answer. I have had a tendency towards melancholia since I was 13 and have and had periods of ‘feeling depressed’ throughout my life since then. So, in a way, feeling down was quite normal for me.

But it was only when I had a major episode, starting in 2009, and I was formally diagnosed with depression that I truly realised or accepted that I was depressed.

It may be worth dwelling on the causes of this episode because it might help some of your readers recognise some of the risk factors.

The reality is that the roots of this episode of depression went back to 2005 or 2006 when I was under a lot of pressure at work and increasingly unhappy with my career.  But between 2007 and 2009 I had a succession of extremely stressful life events, including moving from the UK to Australia, several subsequent house moves, fatherhood, my wife being sick for a long time after the birth of our daughter, various job changes and the downgrading of my work status.

Perhaps of most impact was the fact that I was utterly unprepared for moving continents and found it incredibly difficult to settle. I am lucky to have a wonderfully supportive and loving wife, but I had nobody else in Australia apart from her family and I felt increasingly isolated.

So, in the face of this combination of isolation, chronic stress, tectonic lifestyle shifts and loss of self-esteem, and with an entrenched pattern of negative thinking, I pretty much folded up.

What sort of effect did it have on your life? Tell us about things you stopped doing because of it?

I stopped doing almost everything. I managed to keep going to work but other than that I merely existed. I did not want to mix or socialise. I was unwilling to try to make new connections in Australia. I had little interest in anything.

Tell us how depression affected your relationships with your family and your friends?

One of the problems you have when you are in the depths of depression, is that you can just about get yourself through the day if you are lucky, but you have nothing else to give to anybody else.

So, the worst periods of my depression were hell for my wife, as I gave her little or no support at that time. I was also an absent father in the sense that I didn’t, or couldn’t do much to connect with my daughter. To add to the difficulties, for a long time I kept the whole thing hidden from my family and friends in the UK, which only added to my sense of isolation.

What sort of phrases can describe your experience with depression?

Hopeless, helpless, heaviness, heartache, anger, sorrow, guilt, despair.

Where you formally diagnosed with depression, what sort of diagnosis did you get?

I was simply diagnosed with suffering from a major depressive episode.

How was your experience with the health system. Did you find GP, Psychologists and other members helpful?

Everybody I saw was undoubtedly trying to do their best. But what I quickly realised was that some practitioners were better informed than others and that in any case there are no simple solutions to depression.  There is no one-size-fits all approach, but I suspect that is what some parts of the health system are programmed to apply.

When did your depression get better? And how did it get better?

I was helped initially by taking antidepressants but the effectiveness of them wore off after a while. I have had a couple of phases of psychotherapy which have helped me to understand and correct some of my negative thought patterns.

I am always hesitant to say I am completely better because I have found that my recovery has come in phases and has stalled at times.  I am certainly much better than I was and currently reasonably well.  I also think that I am better placed to resist the onset of depression again in the future. But I certainly don’t think it’s all over.

In footballing terms this is a game that lasts a lifetime. As far as I am concerned, it’s only just after half-time. I conceded a couple of goals just before the break and was looking in trouble. I have now managed to get on level terms, but there’s a long way to go. It could even go to extra time and penalties.

What activities did you do to beat depression?

The main thing I did was to learn as much as I possibly could about the condition.  Firstly, this helped me realise that it was not my fault that I had become depressed and, secondly, it made me understand how therapy could help me. In that way I could really buy in to the treatment, which I think is really important.

For example, when I was first depressed I rejected the idea that CBT type strategies could help me. Later I was more open to them and I especially had a lot of success with meditation and mindfulness based CBT techniques.

Studying depression also led me to look at other aspects of psychology and to deepen my interest in the various ways we develop and overcome psychological distress.

The result is that now I am studying counselling and psychotherapy and hope to be able to make a career in the field in due course. Given my background of career issues, this is a really important step forward in that it gives me a sense of direction for the future.

How would you encourage others who are struggling with depression?

• First, don’t blame yourself: this is not your fault.
• Second, it’s almost inevitable that you are going to have to try a few different treatments or recovery options before you find what’s right for you. You should also know that you won’t have a linear recovery. You will feel like you have relapsed at times, but you will recover lost ground and then improve further. Try to accept this and don’t fret when you don’t get instant outcomes.
• Third, learn to meditate and practice it regularly. In my experience, meditation is the gateway to the realisation that you can control your emotional responses and thus interrupt the negative thought spirals that bring you down.
• Finally, try to look forward – try to make some plans for how you can change your life for the better in the future or, more simply, try to always have something good to look forward to, even if it is something straightforward like making time to do something enjoyable entirely for yourself.

Tell us about your depression blog “Too Depressed” how did doing something like this help you and others beat depression?

It helped me as an outlet during some of the worst times and as a way of capturing some of the learning I was doing about depression and mental health.  At the moment I am pretty busy – still working and studying as well, so I am not writing as much as I’d like. However, I have managed to get some different insights by publishing the work of other writers too.

Any final comments about depression and how to beat it?

It’s hard to say anything very profound here because when you are depressed, exhortations like ‘don’t blame yourself’, ‘don’t give up hope’ can sound pretty fatuous. What I can say is that you probably can’t beat depression on your own. You’ll need help and understanding from your friends and family, so try to be honest with them about how you feel. You’ll also need more formal help. Don’t fear therapy. It can change your life for the better as long as you commit to the process.

Bullying and depression are deeply intertwined experiences. Many people who experience depression have also experienced bullying, either at school, in families or workplaces. Bullying is aggressive behaviour used to intimidate others, either mentally or physically. Pre-existing depression can also create vulnerabilities in people making them more susceptible to bullying.

Bullying installs values that the world is inherently hostile, scary and dangerous. When bullying victims believe this, both conscious and unconsciously, it sets them up for maladaptive coping techniques like isolation, chronic rigidity and persistent feelings of sadness. Depression emerges as a defence against experiencing further pain.

5 Main Reasons Why Bullying Causes Depression

1. Bullying significantly lowers self-esteem

Being bullied increases the constant feeling of being ‘less-than’ and ‘nothing’. Being constantly told that you have no value lowers self-esteem. The effects of bullying are lifelong and often distorts victim’s views of themselves well after the bullying has stopped.

2. Bullying strengthens learned helplessness

Bullied victims often feel very powerless against attackers, especially when problems are insufficiently  handled by schools or parents. A deep sense of helplessness can sink in.  Learned helplessness often drives depression, as depressed people feel that any positive action is futile and will not achieve any good results.

3. Bullying causes deep frustrations and defiance against authorities

Over 60 percent of boys who are bullies in middle school have criminal convictions by the age of 24, says the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.* However, bullying can create anger against authorities. Bullying victims often feel let down by the authorities, like parents and school teachers, who failed to intervene and eliminate their mistreatment.

Rage against authorities can continue to cause feelings of rejection, abandonment and helplessness. The converse can also happen when people lash out against authority figures in anger.

4. Bullying causes rage to fester in the unconscious

Being a victim at someone else’s expense enrages the ego. Anger and fear are two of the core emotions of all forms of depression. Emotional pains inflicted by bullying are driven into the unconscious to allow the person to continue functioning. This anger and pain can cause depressive episodes unless it is made conscious and released. Often professional assistance is required for this to happen.

5. Bullying creates deep feelings of inferiority and worthlessness

Bullying at school causes emotions like inferiority and worthlessness to become prominent in the victim’s life. These feelings can last long after the bullying is over. We encourage you to look at our article on absent fathers, as bullying at school is often a twisted reflection of something that’s happening at home.

Depression can precede bullying

Bullying and depression aren’t always causally connected. A lot of recent studies have focused on depression preceding bullying which creates vulnerabilities in children that get exploited. Years 5 and 6 of primary or elementary school are pivotal in experiencing bullying, as they often set the course of a positive or negative school experience. If bullying occurs during these years it’s likely to continue for most of high school, and for some into tertiary educational settings.

Children who show symptoms of depression — having low energy, social withdrawal, passive behaviour, excessive crying, and having an obsessive, negative self-focus — may first be rejected by peers and then targeted by bullies.*

Bullies are cowards

Bullying is carried out by cowards who need to feel better about themselves by picking on people they view as weaker than them. Often they co-opt people with weaker personalities who need to gain a sense of belonging or power. Bullies often lack qualities of self reflection and empathy, and are easily led by others. Bullies are deeply reliant on other people’s praise and affirmation to make them feel good about themselves. Realise that bullies are cowards and their actions catch up to them sooner or later. Bullies are not born but created through a mixture of bad personal choices and poor parenting.

How do I beat the effects of bullying?

Learn to trust again

Bullying leaves a bitter hole in people especially if it’s been severe and systematic. But people do recover from bullying. Learning to trust is the key to recovery, gaining confidence in other people and organisations. Contact support groups for mental health and victims of bullying.

Take appropriate measures to stop bullying

Diligently and properly deal with bullying, either through work HR channels or school supervisors. Bullying should never be tolerated in any setting. If you see someone is being bullied, take a stand, be the brave person that says bullying is not okay. Teach your children to be aware of bullying in school, and if you suspect your children are victims of bullying, discuss it with school teachers and authorities. Be aware that not all bullying is done physically, but also through the internet and on social networks.

Realise that people are more durable than vulnerable

The mind, like the body, has remarkable capacity for change, growth and healing. People do recover. Get out of toxic environments and into healthy ones, where people genuinely support and encourage each other.

This page is dedicated to the memory of Amanda Todd, a victim of cyber bullying.

References and further reading 

Healthland: The Complicated Relationship Between Bullying and Depression
Tween Parenting: Characteristics of a Typical Victim of Bullying
ABC News: Bullied Teen Amanda Todd Leaves Behind Chilling Youtube Video

Adrian Plass is a well-known and widely respected Christian writer and raconteur who suffered a breakdown and major depression in 1984.

Adrian Plass became aware that something was wrong when he hit a level of tension at work which did not ease. He was already doing stressful work in residential care for youths. His tension and anxiety continued to worsen until it became almost unbearable.

In his case, the signs of depression were fairly standard: severe tiredness and wanting to sleep all the time, an inability to deal with people, and random patterns of thinking. He felt deeply adrift and alone in life.  Adrian Plass cried out to God in anger and desperation for a real encounter with the living God.  He did not want just another book to read or seminar to attend, he wanted to touch and experience real life.

A number of things helped Adrian Plass beat depression:

Time and space to reflect and heal

Often people think beating depression is about working, doing more and trying harder. More often than not it is about learning to properly rest to allow stress and tension to wash away.

For Adrian Plass, having the time and space free of responsibility was extraordinary and deeply healing. Guilt free time to do what you want can be very therapeutic. Don’t put pressure on yourself and simply take the time and space to enjoy the world.

Writing

Plass also began to write, which was a therapeutic release for him.  Writing is a healing process, whether it be journalling emotions or pursuing some sort of fictional writing, like short stories and poetry. Writing is another form of expression. Any outlets of expression are healthy when trying to beat depression, because depression is fundamentally a problem of true expression. Other forms of expression include music and dance.

Nature

When he began writing Adrian Plass noticed a Japanese cherry blossom blooming in his backyard. From my own experience in living in South Korea I can attest to the beauty of the blooming cherry blossom. For him it was a symbol of new life emerging from the old.  Many people mention how important it is for nature to heal one’s soul. When the anxieties and depressions of life become overwhelming,  the raw beauty and force of nature has a power that speaks truth, light and grace into undernourished and empty souls.

Friendship – the key to mental health

Plass says from his own experience that you need a friend. Friendship is the key to mental health. In our article on loneliness we mentioned how imperative true friendship is. We mean quality friendship, not vain online social connections. A real friend  loves you and doesn’t judge you for faults, failings or misgivings. Friendship humbles us and makes us real and alive again and it really helped Adrian Plass beat depression.

We commend Adrian for coming forward in his soft and gentle way sharing his heart and giving hope for people in depression.

Adrian Plass’ website

This increase in use can negatively impact users and can cause increased feelings of sadness, loneliness. Facebook Depression is a loose term to mean feelings of sadness, loneliness and disconnection while using Facebook. However there is no clinical diagnosis of Facebook depression and no studies clearly showing a link between Facebook usage and depression.

The power of Facebook to cause feelings of sadness and depression is driven by the need to socialise, fear about public image and reputation, and reactions to people who seem to have it all-together. People who are prone to loneliness need to be cautious as they use social networks, especially vulnerable people trying hard to secure popularity and connectedness.

The argument for Facebook depression

• Facebook is not a real community, it is a virtual one. People can’t cry on your shoulder, give you a hug or express full human emotions to you – emoticons are a poor substitute for real emotions.
• There are many false profiles, trolls and malicious activities on Facebook, all of which can go without immediate repercussions of harmful actions. Increased levels of inappropriate behaviour and aggression can leave people feeling hurt and angry
• Facebook profiles don’t always project reality. Profiles are often highly manicured to show desirable rather than consistent images of people’s lives. With such an image conscious focus it makes people feel sad at the superficiality of the network.
• For people who are struggling with low self esteem Facebook reinforces feelings of everyone else having fun and getting ahead. Depressed people often struggle with feelings of envy and anger when seeing popular and sucessful people, Facebook enhances this interface.
• Lonely people tend to spend more time on the internet and gravitate toward high use of online chat and gaming. Facebook use encourages more anti-social behaviour and time spent alone online
• Experts warn that Facebook use can be damaging especially amongst teenagers, see MSNBC

The argument against Facebook depression

• Facebook is just another communication platform and it is essentially neutral. People’s own use determines if they get harmed from it or not.
• Facebook enables free communication for people in remote and regional communities. It also a great way for marginalised groups like the elderly to connect with other people.
• People derive good feelings from being in contact with others on Facebook. It can promote feelings of self-esteem and well-being especially with people around the world.
• Facebook is a great way to connect with long lost school friends and other people in your life.
• It empowers people to take action against issues by forming social movements against companies, governments and abusive powers. It can also cut through red-tape when it comes to customer service by visibly approaching a company.
• Facebook allows people with depression to connect via support groups online.
• Recent studies argue that there is no link between Facebook and depression. See MSNBC, Daily Mail, and Huffington Post’s coverage on a study conducted by the University of Wisconsin

The Verdict: Is Facebook Depression real?

Just like eating too much fast food, spending too much time on Facebook is not always healthy. Learning how to use it in a positive manner with boundaries is key. Keep Facebook use at a normal level and cut back if you need to. Realise that relationships in the real world come first. While there is no link  between Facebook and depression, healthy use limits possible feelings of sadness and loneliness that may come from spending too much time online.

Explore this info graphic from Help for Depression, who write “This infographic does not convey the message that Facebook causes depression because there is no data to support it. Instead, it illustrates how we use Facebook to share our thoughts, feelings, and personal interests.”

References and further reading
Facebook study in Journal of Adolescent Health
MSNBC, Daily Mail, and Huffington Post’s covering studies which argues against Facebook depression

All information on this site is covered by an important disclaimer. Please leave a comment if you’ve read this story for affirmation or to give us feedback. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter.  If you would like to submit a story which can change and influence other lives please contact us. We really hope you do beat your depression.

Antidepressant medication is one of the most common interventions taken to beat depression. Most people who have struggled with chronic depression or episodic depression will undertake one or possibly several courses of antidepressant medications in their lifetime.

When depression is severe medication can be useful and sometimes even life-saving. For people with bipolar, a regime of mood stabilising medications is often used to manage the condition successfully. Antidepressant medications are the second leading class of drugs, after cholesterol-lowering drugs.

One of the most common combinations is the coupling of  anti-depressants and talking therapies, which has statically been proven effective against clinical depression. The mitigation of strong symptoms through medication coupled with the ability to explore issues with a therapist is an effective force against depression.

The best way to approach a course of antidepressant medication is to combine it with other aspects of recovery. This includes support groups, therapists, making an effort to improve oneself, journalling and taking ownership of recovery. Perception about what antidepressants should do often dictates whether or not people are satisfied with its efficacy.

At How I Beat Depression we do not want to focus extensively on antidepressant medication. We will mention it when it is incidental to a personal recovery. Antidepressant medication is a very contentious topic, our stance is neither for or against but rather how it helps recovery alongside many other interventions as part of a holistic and balanced approach to recovery. 

How antidepressant medication works

This is a complex process to describe. Antidepressant medication addresses a chemical imbalance in the brain by increasing three important chemicals in the brain: norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine. These chemicals have a strong effect on moods and emotions. Antidepressant medication manipulates the way the brain communicates with nerve cells and increases a depleted amount of the chemicals. This manipulation can also interfere with other systems along the neural pathways, so side effects like increased appetite, sleep, thirst and decreased sexual function can occur.

Antidepressant medications do not get to the root cause or eliminate depression

Antidepressant medication is designed for symptom reduction to enable people to do more and not be overcome by symptoms which restrict day-to-day functioning. Antidepressant Medication can help people get back on track so more activities can be included into recovery.

Put simply: there is a reason behind the brain being chemically imbalanced. What underlies this imbalance is the driving force behind depression. The mechanism behind the brain instigating a chemical imbalance is the real culprit. Powerful unconscious emotions like fear, anger and loss lie at the heart of these chemical changes within the brain. This is why psychotherapy is such an effective ally with antidepressant medication, as the purpose of psychotherapy is to make the unconscious conscious.

Let’s be clear that the use of antidepressant medication regime should supervised by a mental health professional with realistic expectations about their place in recovery.

Treatment for depression is not a short-term process but a long-term project with specific goals of remission and maintenance. Multiple approaches of medication, psychotherapy and patient education are most effective in the treatment of MDD. Close consultation with a physician and/or psychiatrist can provide the best treatment options.*

We hope this article has given a balanced approach to what antidepressant medication is. We highly encourage you to read further to expand your knowledge about the purpose and function of antidepressant medication. 

References and further reading

Help Guide.org
Wikipedia on Antidepressant Medication 
RCPsych
How Stuff Works 

All information on this site is covered by an important disclaimer. Please leave a comment if you’ve read this story for affirmation, feedback and discussion. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter.  If you would like to submit a story which can change and influence other lives please send it via e-mail to howibeat@gmail.com We really hope you do beat your depression.

The painful and lasting effects of the absent father on mental health and addiction

Often people who struggle with depression have an absent father in their lives.  The absent father figure comes up frequently when we document recovery stories, some examples are: Carrie Fisher and Jason Robinson.

When the father is absent the likelihood of substance use and depression is greatly magnified. People without father figures often go through intense periods of anger and self-loathing as they mature.

An absent father is someone who is not fulfilling a role of a loving and caring parent. It doesn’t necessarily mean physically absent; a father can still be present but engage in subtle forms of abuse like verbal and physical abuse.

Absent father syndrome strongly influences mental health and negatively damages grades at school, self-perception, self esteem and ability to relate to others in healthy ways. Psychology Today makes some excellent points in their article on father absence, father deficit and father hunger:

Children’s diminished self-concept, and compromised physical and emotional security (children consistently report feeling abandoned when their fathers are not involved in their lives, struggling with their emotions and episodic bouts of self-loathing) *

A Generation of Absent Fathers

Being a good father is not an easy job. Fathers are meant to provide for their families, show strength and protective instincts but also affection towards their children. This is difficult for many men as they try and  cope with generational changes. Being a father is no longer about just providing financially for your family, this fact alone has caused many men to struggle being a father.

Good Fathers Produce Healthy Children

It comes down to this simple fact and truth: fathers who have quality relationships with their spouse and children produce healthier children. A healthy family unit is often the bedrock of mental health. Of course, you can be mentally healthy and come from a broken or dysfunctional family, but this is the exception and not the rule. People can have mental health problems in a healthy family too.

Absent fathers often produce children prone to addiction, mental health issues, poor relationships, poor education and lives that often do not reach their potential.

The Absent Father and Depression

The absent father’s influence on depression is often linked to deep-seated anger and feelings of powerlessness. People become angry at their treatment at an age where they didn’t have sufficient power to fight back. Anger is coupled with feelings of helplessness and dependency. When this anger is not released, it can become externalised in harmful ways:

A common psychological affect of fatherlessness is feeling angry. Typically, at the core of anger is hurt and pain which stems from the rejection felt from their parent. Anger manifests itself in various forms such as verbal outbursts, cutting themselves and even physical violence *

Attachment Theory

An excellent way of understanding the damage that can be done by an absent father is ‘attachment theory’. Secure fathers who allow their children to explore the world, make mistakes and learn from them whilst offering help and support along the way create strong and secure personalities in their children.

Insecure children are often afraid to explore the world, make mistakes and view the world as an inherently hostile place designed to attack them. They develop defensive postures adopted for egoic protection that manifest in a wide variety of ways as they grow and struggle through the stages of maturity – these include mental health, chronic pain, addiction and neurosis.

The Good News

Even through the effects of the absent father cause much pain, it doesn’t need to be like this forever. Healing and recovery is about developing compassion for self and letting go of hurtful past experiences. This is not easy but many people are able to break out of the shackles created by an absent father figure. Developing compassion for self and forgiving oneself is often at the heart of letting go of the shadow of the absent father.

How to Beat Absent Father Syndrome

Make a conscious decision about not repeating a generational pattern. Often father absenteeism is passed down many generations. Society needs brave people to stand up and say, “I’m not going to do the same to my children or my friends or family”. Be the better man or woman. Be present in relationships and realise that fatherhood is about genuinely loving and forming strong relations with your family, children and friends. Develop forgiveness and compassion for yourself and even your absent father. You are a special and unique person in spite of what any parent may have told you. Forgiveness and making a decision to be responsible for yourself is key.

References and further reading

Overview of attachment theory
Effects of Father Absence on Adolescent Depression, Sexual Attitudes, and Substance - thesis PDF
Psychological Effects of Fatherlessness | eHow.com
Excellent slideshow documenting how attachment theory works
Father deficit, father huger by Psychology Today

Photo by LOLren via Flickr

Stress and Depression: Adewale Ademuyiwa

Position: High Intensity Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist
Country: United Kingdom
Qualifications: BcSHons Community Specialist Practice, Post Grad Cert in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, RNDipHe Mental Health Nursing, Diploma in Mentoring in Public practice
Contact: Stress Therapist

Stress and Depression

Stress and depression always go together because going through depression is stressful. Often a stress overload is a precipitation cause in depression’s development. Today we interview Adewale who runs a fantastic website called Stress Therapist which focuses on the treatment of stress and mental health issues, specifically depression and anxiety. He has a wealth of insight and passion to give.

Can you give us a history of your work in mental health?

I first started working as a mental health care assistant in 1997 just prior to commencing my Diploma in mental health nursing. For the past fifteen years I have had experience working in acute mental health care for adults, community mental health specialist work, criminal Justice mental health practice, early intervention in psychosis Practice, crisis Intervention Practice and, lastly, the enhanced mental health practice within the primary health care in the UK.

What made you want to work in this area?

I have always been fascinated by how humans tick. I read my first book on psychology when I was around age 12, Eric Bern’s book called “Games People Play,” and I was completely fascinated by the new emotional world it presented to me. It was something I did not even know existed, and I was amazed by the fact that I could actually see the games being played around me. This discovery multiplied my interest in the psychological field a hundred fold.

Your website Stress Therapist focuses on the management of stress being paramount to good mental health, can you elaborate on why you chose to focus on stress and the link between stress and depression, and other conditions too?

Yes, this is something that is very close to my heart. All through my learning in the mental-health field, I have been struck by how stress is implicated, in one way or another, in every mental health illness I have studied.

It then struck me that there would be fewer experiences of mental illness if people could find better ways of keeping stress levels low. Another thing that is apparent in our current world is the people are still more likely to accept that they are stressed than they are to accept that they have a mental illness.

So the subject of stress seemed to be a way for me to help people bridge that gap.

I see psychological stress as a huge mental health component. In essence, the more stressed (and I am talking about toxic levels of stress here) we become, the less able we are at functioning adequately in our world. This would be fine if that was where it stopped, but unfortunately, people engage with the fact that they are not functioning well in such negative ways that it eventually leads them to develop a mental illness.

I have seen my site as an opportunity to share a number of points with the world.

1. Mental illness is a normal thing. This may sound ironic, but the more we see mental illness as abnormal, the more difficult it will be to recover from it.

2. Mental illness results due to a combination of how we react with our world, other people, ourselves and due to our mismanagement of stress.

3. The more we can see the connections mental health has with stress, the better we naturally become at being in control of our mental health.

4. The negative views about mental illness are completely misguided, and people will see themselves break free from mental illness if they can treat themselves compassionately instead of critically.

Stress and depression is an escalating problem in the modern world, why do you think it is?

The number one reason I feel depression has become so rampant in our modern world is due a profound ignorance of the emotional world. The emotional world follows very different rules to the physical world.

In the physical world it is appropriate to apply more effort to a load you want to carry if you realize that the load was heavier than you had judged it to be.  In the emotional world, however, applying more effort when you are not coping well only serves to break us down further. As such, if we do not recognize our personal stress limits, we can invariably drive ourselves towards depression by merely trying harder and harder.

The current education system in the modern world has done very well at educating people academically but has completely undermined the importance of educating people emotionally so when many people are hit with sadness they don’t how to manage it and stop it from slipping into depression.

Are the numbers over-inflated? Are too many people medicalising sadness?

I actually think that the numbers are under inflated. I don’t have any statistical evidence for this, so I am only suggesting this from the sample of people I have seen for therapy. Too many people don’t understand what depression is and as such suffer in silence. Some are too ashamed to speak out about what they are experiencing.

I see sadness and depression as two parts of the same thing. Depression is really only intensified sadness. I see it as a scale anyone on earth can move up or down on.

Unfortunately, in my experience, the bulk of the people who have struggled to recover from depression have been people who previously believed that depression is not real and that people are only medicalising sadness. Since these people could not bring themselves to accept depression as a real normal thing, they could not bring themselves to follow the necessary steps for recovery.

Of the people you treat who make strong recoveries and are able to beat depression are there common factors in their recovery? 

Yes, there are common factors with those clients who I have treated who have been able to beat depression.

• These clients were able to accept the idea that the symptoms of depression are just that, hence  able to gain  insight that the symptoms of depression are very separate from who they are. They were able to draw on their past knowledge that they behaved in very different and effective ways when they were not depressed.

• The clients who recover fully from depression put a lot of effort into practicing the different techniques I taught them regularly until the techniques became built into their normal way of life.

• Clients who recovered fully from depression were able practice techniques that enabled them to gain a third-person perspective on the thoughts they were having. As a result of this they were eventually able to analyze their thoughts objectively and were able to stop being caught in negative interpretations of the thoughts they were having.

• Fourthly, clients who recovered were able to begin looking compassionately at themselves, their past lives and their experience of depression. Although they felt sad that about going through depression, they were able to stop blaming or criticizing themselves. They were able to realize that their experience of depression was just an unfortunate unintended outcome of their attempts to cope with feelings and emotions they were not familiar with. They were able to understand that it was not their fault that they did not have the correct tools to deal with depression when it first impacted them.

Working in this field can be tough. Compassion fatigue, burnout, poor funding are unfortunate realities for many workers.  How do you keep up your motivation and passion?

I’ll be honest with you Justin it can get really tough, especially when I am faced with situations and decisions that are not within my control. People up the ladder make decision and expect you to carry their requests out even though the recourses are not available to do so.

Interestingly I use quite a large number of the techniques I have written about in stresstherapist.net. This helps me to regulate my own stress levels effectively. People tell me I talk and write so convincingly with passion about these techniques. I guess that the only reason I do so is the techniques work very well for me, so I am very passionate about them.

Who are your heroes in psychology and mental health?

I have a few.

Eric Berns as mentioned earlier (wrote Games People Play)

Ellen Gold White (died in 1915): She wrote a book called “Mind, Character and Personality,” This book is written from a religious perspective. What is particularly interesting about Ellen was that she was only educated to primary school level, yet some of her insights in this book, written at a time when knowledge of mental health was still very archaic, are simply spot-on with what the modern scientific world teaches today about mental illness.

Paul Gilbert: Who is pioneering the subject of Compassion as an emotional tool from breaking free from any mental illness and has written a book called compassion. I value Gilbert’s insight a lot as it sits well with a lot of my thinking. Actually, the subject of developing self-compassion is the central ethos of the stresstherapist.net website.

Marshal Linehan: Who developed Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) for personality disorder. Her book was the instrumental in introducing the CBT approach to me.

Christine Padesky: Who wrote the self-help book Mind over mood. Her book is very simple but yet very powerful in it’s step by step explanation of some of the effective CBT tools that are used till this day.

Tell us about your most enjoyable experience with helping others try and recover from mental health. 

Seeing someone recover fills me with the utmost joy. My current-day Job places me in a situation where I can experience this happening over and over again. Interestingly te joy I experience with it person’s recovery seems completely new because I become familiar with the difficulty in the life they were living and the pain they were experiencing. I love experiencing and helping:

• People returning to work, after 30-odd-years of not being able to do anything functionally.
• People realizing that they were a lot stronger than they had previously realized.
• People developing confidence to go to places they have avoided for most of their lives.
• People developing skills that enable them to cope better and become more effective at work.
• People realizing that they can actually have wonderful experiences in their marriage and with their children.

And the list just goes on!

So then, how specifically do you help people beat depression in your day to day practice?

This is a very loaded question that deserves a book to do proper justice to it. People often fail to realize that depression has a number of facets. They tend to focus their efforts on only one or two of the facets then give up. So the facets I regularly focus on for helping people beat depression are as follows. I’ll try to summarize my practice for dealing depression in bullet points.

• Tackling rumination
• Tackling self-criticism
• Tackling motivation
• Helping the client to master enjoyment
• Tackling the misperception of depressive symptoms (Normalising depression)
• Tackling negative thinking i.e. developing positive or neutral thinking patterns
• Tackling compensating behaviours
• Developing compassion
• Tackling unhelpful beliefs and rules that govern the way people live their lives

How can people connect with or make a reservation to see you?

To make a reservation, anyone can complete the therapy session request form found here.

The only prerequisite is that you will need to have access to a computer that has a good internet connection, a web cam and an audio card .I am currently thinking about allowing telephone therapy sessions, but I need to know that there is a demand for this first.At present I am offering the first two therapy sessions for free. I think this itself is a real deal when you consider how costly cognitive behaviour therapy sessions can be. However for you How I Beat Depression readers, i am prepared to offer the third session at half price.

Adewale we thank you so much for your thoughtful responses and reflections . We also commend your work in fighting the stigma of mental health and providing valuable information for people struggling with stress and depression and other mental health issues and wish you all the best with your website and career in mental health. 

Adwale’s website is Stress Therapist.

D.O.B: 19/06/1980
Birthplace: Sydney
Nationality: Australian
Condition: Major depression, Generalised Anxiety Disorder
What Beat His Depression: Exercise, Destigmatisation, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Mutual Support Group, Christian Faith, Perseverance, Medication, Psychiatric and psychological support

How I Beat Depression and Anxiety

I have fought depression and anxiety most of my life. For so long it took so much: my internal peace, employment, connection with family and friends an any sort of optimistic and hopeful outlook toward the future.

I grew up under two loving parents and a younger brother I was always a shy child, generally withdrawn from others and prone to doing quiet reflections, spending time in books and alone and from an early age feeling sometimes quiet alone and cut off from other people.

Growing up at that time my parent’s were not in the best space either, their relationship appeared quite detached to me. I remember them fighting in front of me and being quite intimidated and scared many times not knowing how and when tension in their relationship would manifest and why it was doing so in the first place.

I will just stop here quickly to let you know that I am not in any way going to use this website to bag my parents. People who solely blame their parents for all their problems normally struggle to grow and never really mature in themselves. I love my parents a lot and our relationship now has never been better. I am truly grateful for their loving care throughout the years, one of the reason we have built such a successful relationship nowadays is the ability to reflect on how our family unit has changed for the better and how we have all worked through our own problems and difficulties and become much more of a cohesive and tight unit.

Throughout most of my childhood Mum was also a practicing alcoholic whose anxiety and uncertainty I absorbed consciously and unconsciously, my Dad generally was very work-oriented who has a serious temper. So on the one hand I was absorbing the anxiety from my Mum and generally was frightened and apprehensive of my father’s emotions, which were liable to be volatile and unpredictable.

At this age around 4-6 I really couldn’t talk to anyone else about these fears and uncertainties that began to plague and torment my mind.Entering school I noticed that I became uncomfortable in social setting, paranoid about not fitting in and not feeling comfortable with others. I started to become increasingly attracted to spending a lot of time in fantasy, reading tonnes of comics, fiction books and delving into my imagination excessively.

I loved to immerse myself in fiction and movies. In terms of school work I really struggled to pay attention in class, being easily distracted by my mind and would often zone out and daydream. I struggled to understand concepts and material, being to afraid and frightened to reach out for help and too anxious to speak up and admit I didn’t understand anything for fear of judgement.

Patterns of entrenched thoughts, feelings and behaviors were taking shape revolving around being afraid of what other people would think of me.  I became also fearful at night, become convinced people were going to break into my house and murder me. I stayed up most night as a self-imposed watchman, guarding and watching out for terrorists of the night, guarding for myself. Not trusting in my parents and believing the world was a dark place full of uncertainty and shadows of the night. I was also to be aware of increasing nightmares and tension in all areas of my life.

These all made me very wary of my body and again very frightened that dark forces were beyond me control pulling me here and there at whim and had control and power over me.

At school I was performing badly, I had mentally given up trying and settled for mediocrity. I started to really believe the idea that I was just very ordinary and not intelligent at all. Many school papers noted problems of expression and articulation.

I struggled to make friends and build enriching and positive relationships. Often I found making friends just hard. I didn’t know how to fit in – I started really becoming uncomfortable in my own skin.

Internally I was fighting the world. I suffered some bullying in high school too. What can I say sometimes kids can be cruel. I also bullied other people when I got the chance too, the weaker ones, but I didn’t too this too often. I knew from a young age that I had a caring, compassionate heart but I just couldn’t let it out, I had to bury it under layers of protection.

Not being able to form friendships came from problems with trust. After all if I couldn’t trust my parents,  orhow my body reacted to things, or even myself, how could I begin to trust others. I viewed others as more stronger than myself, more together, more in control and just naturally blessed with more composure. They had legitimate lives whereas mine wasn’t. During high school I really became convinced people’s internal state was akin to the image they were presenting to the world.

So I became drawn into doing things to give me more status and be perceived as seemingly more powerful. I became more and more attracted to stronger personalities, copying seemingly strong and powerful people to make friends or to better relationships. None of this was the true me: most of it was motivated by good intentions and a painful inability to be myself or be comfortable with others.

I went into university plagued with self-doubt, everything started to become more and more of a struggle. When university finished I thought it would be freedom, unshackled from the structure and routine of school. So, often in vain and feeble ways, I tried to fit in. I also got into drinking, not hardcore because I always had a very weak stomach and was always quite the anxious type so alcohol and my stomach didn’t always shake hands comfortably.

That being said I did form some good relationships, some friendships with people who are still my closest friends.

I continued to amble in life, with no clear sense of direction or purpose, getting up in the morning became harder and harder, in fact the more I lived a life crippled with doubt, fear and incessant worry I became worn down, everything took effort, and more effort, yet other people seemingly breezed through these situations easily.

I became more and more disenchanted with life, everyone and everything these beliefs just confirmed my suspicion that indeed there was something seriously wrong with me and the world.I began to hate and fear social situations. Just the sound of a crowd or party would send me deep into fear territory. As my depression deepened so did my anxiety. I frequently had panic attacks and breathing difficulty and would be aware of a frequent racing heart and inability to slow down rapid thoughts.

I aimed to try and do something what I loved writing and shape a career out of journalism. Even though I had the odd moment of success deep down I knew it would never last and the darkness would win and pervade.

But it was hard. I had erected a mask just to keep me going. It was not that I was strategically or manipulating situations for self-gain. If anything it was just to show that I was not defeated by life. I thought no one would really understand or know really what I was going through and even if they did they would ultimately reject me. I felt ugly inside and out.

My self talk began to condemn be loudly. It was almost as if there was an accuser inside me tormenting me and calling me a failure. At work I used to go into the toilet frequently and hid, frequently chastising myself. The voice of self-condemnation was deafening and incessant.

What were my university marks like? Average. Just like school. I always knew there was latent talent wanting to come out, but I sabotaged everything. I wouldn’t study, I would not put in legitimate hard work. I became really uncomfortable in all social settings, including classrooms. All different environments appeared to reinforce my ‘aloneness,’ aloofness, disconnectedness. I just couldn’t pay attention and learn and most of the time conscious thought was devoted to how self-conscious and perennially uncomfortable I felt in my own skin and talking with others.

My posture worsened accordingly. The mind may try many techniques to hide the emotional and psychological pain but the pain goes somewhere and it was beginning to be manifested through the body as the body often reflects the mind.Dull aches and pains continued to grow and my growing awareness of them continued to heighten and become enveloping and obsessive.

I didn’t know what I wanted to do work wise so I floated through some sales roles without much direction and purpose. I generally was slipping mentally. I found it harder and harder to wake up in the morning, it was as if I became more and more leaden, weighed down and oppressed by my own harshness against myself and the growing difficulty of managing everyday life.

The key points arising from this findings are:

• Psychotherapy is preferred over anti-depressant medication by depressed patients
• Patients are more likely to stick with the therapy if it is delivered by phone, more people dropped out in the face-to-face
• In the sample group the face to face patients fared better after 6 months although the reasons for this is that the harder to treat types that drop out of face-to-face session maintain telephone therapy
• In the future, phone counselling could be combined with face-to- face, for example persons who can’t for whatever reason get to face-to-face sessions could begin with phone counselling and then graduate to face-to-face sessions
• Only a small fraction of depressed population actually go to a psychologist and remain in psychotherapy

Psychotherapy and talking therapies are effective but not everyone can do this

While psychotherapy is undoubtably one of the best ways to beat depression and it’s coupling with anti-depressant medication is viewed as one of the most effective treatments against strong depression the cold reality of the world is that most people can’t afford it and even for the ones that can maintain treatment within it can be difficult. To lower both these barriers different ways of treatment really need to be explored and pushed.

“Telephone therapy was able to reduce dropout. Four out of five who got therapy over the phone could complete 18 weeks of treatment, while only two out of three assigned to face-to-face therapy could complete treatment,” Ho tells WebMD

In many cases such strong feelings and powerful lethargy and mental resistance stops them from doing the things they need to do to get better. In some cases then it is beneficial to offer different avenues and methods of treatment.

We totally support activities that cut through traditional mainstream treatments, including psychotherapy, in order to bring fresh and different approaches to treating and beating depression.

A good example of this and one that we already covered was a New Zealand firm investing in a video game treatment for depressed teenagers.

Phone treatment can also access remote and poorer communities in which mental health, depression and hopelessness is extremely prevalent. We hope that in the future this gets rolled out across many nations and enables people to access treatment previously thought inaccessible.

References and further reading

WebMD
Chicago Tribune